Headache

Got a headache today from sleeping too much. Sometimes I wonder whether I went to sleep because I was truly tired or because I didn't want to face the assignments and study materials that I am supposed to read. With the gloom of FYP hanging in the air, I don't know whether I actually look forward to the december holidays or not. My original intention was to complete the lab segment of my FYP before the end of semester 1 and then focus on doing the write-up and poster during the holidays.... at my own leisure in time. Unfortunately, with the hiccups that occurred and the range of plants that I had inadvertently foolishly tried to cover in my project, that possibility remains but a mid-summer night's dream.

The Fukuoka trip at the start of december seems like a good get-away from the stresses of school life and a time of bonding with my family. It is something to look forward to, yes, but my heart remains lonely without a love. A relationship is one thing that perhaps I may never be prepared to commit for, at least in what society's expectations of a relationship is, yet I desire. This and the uncertainties of what is to become of me after graduation cloud my soul with fear and trepidation. Expectations to meet, yes too, but I can tell that my family would support me in anything I decide to do in the end, albeit with some disappointment if I fail to be what they think i want to be. I have a feeling that finding joy in my future work may be a detachment to what the job entails, but perhaps I would give it a try.

Headache has dissapated somewhat. I guess in part my unstable mentality over my problems had to do with the headache. Writing all these thoughts out really helps...somewhat anyway.